Can men be victims of domestic abuse?
Yes. Men are subjected to control, violence and intimidation by partners of any gender, and are less likely to name it or ask for help. What it looks like.
Yes. Men are controlled, hit, threatened, monitored and belittled by partners, in relationships with women and in relationships with men, and the law in every part of the UK applies to them in the same way. What differs is how often it is named. Men are less likely to call what is happening abuse, less likely to tell anyone, and more likely to be asked why they did not simply leave.
What it tends to look like
The behaviours are the same ones described on every page of this site: rules about money and friends, phone checking, humiliation in front of others, threats, and sometimes violence. Some things come up more often when the person on the receiving end is a man.
- Being told that nobody would believe him, or that he would be the one arrested if he called the police.
- Threats about the children: that he would never see them again, that she would say he was the dangerous one.
- Violence that he does not report because he is bigger, and feels he should be able to take it, or because he fears being seen as the aggressor if he restrains her.
- In relationships with another man, threats to out him, or the assumption from services that two men fighting is "mutual".
- Shame that stops him telling friends, so that the isolation is partly self-imposed and the partner does not have to work at it.
What the data says, once
The Office for National Statistics' Crime Survey for England and Wales consistently finds that around a third of people who report experiencing domestic abuse in the last year are men. The same survey and the domestic homicide figures show that women are far more likely to be subjected to repeated, escalating and fatal abuse. The services are shaped around that risk profile, which is right, and it also means men can struggle to find help that is built for them. The Men's Advice Line exists to fill that gap.
If you are the man on the other side of this
Some men reading this are wondering about their own behaviour, having searched for the opposite. The same list applies. If your partner is afraid of you, manages your moods, or has stopped seeing people because of how you react, the Respect Phoneline (0808 8024 040, weekdays, free) is for men and women who want to look at that plainly.
What this might mean for you
If you are a man and recognised the list, the first question is the same as for anyone: are you in danger? The free module Is this danger? asks the questions services use, with nothing assumed about who you are. When the problem is control describes the pattern in full. The assessment starts with eight safety questions and routes men to the right services.
Keep a private record. Tell one person. If there are children, get advice early, because the fear of losing them is one of the main things that keeps men in place, and the law on children does not favour either parent by gender.
To talk to someone trained for this: Men's Advice Line 0808 801 0327 (weekdays, free), Galop (LGBT+) 0800 999 5428, National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 (24 hours, run by Refuge, for women, but anyone can call for advice). In an emergency, 999, and press 55 if you cannot speak. Pressing Escape twice leaves this site at once.
Related questions
- How common is domestic abuse against men in the UK?
- The Office for National Statistics' Crime Survey for England and Wales finds, year on year, that around a third of adults who say they experienced domestic abuse in the previous year are men. Women are more likely to be subjected to repeated, severe and life-threatening abuse. Both of those things are true at once.
- Who can a man call about domestic abuse?
- The Men's Advice Line, 0808 801 0327, is free and open on weekdays, run by Respect, for men experiencing domestic abuse from a partner of any gender. Galop, 0800 999 5428, is for LGBT+ people. In an emergency, 999.
- Will the police believe a man reporting domestic abuse?
- They should, and the law applies equally. In practice men often report being treated with suspicion, or being assumed to be the one causing harm. Keeping a record, telling a GP or friend early, and getting advice from the Men's Advice Line before reporting all help.
Where this leads
Updated 2026-10-29. This page is information, not legal, medical or clinical advice. Clearr is a paid reflective service run by a company, not a charity or crisis service.